A doctor told me once that not everyone can learn through another's experience. She gave the analogy of a pothole out in the parking lot. She said, "You might be able to just drive up and see the pothole; you would turn away and find a different way to pass." She explained further that not everyone could do that. Some would have to repeatedly drive up to the pothole, again and again, before changing a habit and going a different direction. And some would actually have to drop one wheel of their car into the pothole before realizing that it was, indeed, real! Worst case was the person that would have to sink the entire car into the pothole, again and again, getting hauled out by the tow truck. She said, unfortunately, that this person may never actually make a permanent change, being compelled to drive into the pothole - as if pulled by a magnet.
We hope we can save our children the trouble that we experienced by relaying personal experiences. But we will need to tap into their personal learning style if we are to make that connection. And we may not be able to help friends and family - or even ourselves - if this is not our learning style.
I like to think of myself as a person who learns from another's experience. But unfortunately, we are not all facing the same challenges. We are all on a separate path. I am sure that there are some potholes for me that I am compelled to test, again and again, to make sure that they are real, thus knowing that I am alive. They are just not the same potholes that you face; so I will try not to judge you (or your potholes) and just pray for you safe passage.
2 comments:
Hey, susie q, parting is such sweet sorrow, but I'm with Sharon now. I really don't like sharing her with this dude Moses, but he'll be gone soon enough and I will have her all to myself. But I don't plan on staying long . . . I have designs on another sue . . .
Zen, I'm not sure where you were going with this. Or maybe my mind is just mush these days. . .Basically, I don't think you can stop your kids from making mistakes (even the same ones you've made), but you can give them better problem-solving and coping skills, if you're lucky. I just wanted you to know that I love that you couch alot of what you say now in terms of not wanting to judge other people. Honestly, you're such a truly good person. I think you're too hard on yourself. But, I appreciate your effort to be open to the experiences, idiosyncracies and flaws of others.
Wasn't it one of those Clairol commercials, or some other female product type of ads, where they said "you're not getting older, you're getting better"? Well, that definitely applies to you, my friend. Chi-Town Pal
Post a Comment