I have had laryngitis for the last three weeks, and finally went to the ear/nose/throat specialist, who looked down my throat with a scope (can you say "eeeeehhh, aaaaaahh, oooooo?"). Nothin' but inflamed and swollen vocal cords, most likely caused by acid reflux and poor dietary/drinking habits. (?) It just sucks getting old. Now I have to avoid all my favorites, and how easy is it to do that with a superautomaticespressomaker staring you in the face every morning and a nice collection of flavorful Italian whites around happy hour? (well, at least it's not the other way around!) And don't get me started on the chocolate ban. The rest I can handle. Oops, forgot about that spicy Thai food I had on Tuesday.
In the meantime, I have been prescribed at least three days of total silence. It is not going well. I started by carrying with me a notecard that said "I can't speak for three days, dr.'s orders." That of course invited a stream of follow-on questions, with me trying to rapidly write responses. It probably would be faster to just text. I occasionally will whisper to my spouse or children and it totally cracks me up because they start whispering back. Then I whisper, you don't have to whisper, there is nothing wrong with your vocal cords, is there????? Or I make dramatic facial expressions, feigning disgust, mirth, wonderment, and apathy. As you can see, I haven't come even remotely close to five minutes of silence.
Here is my other favorite written line, which I carry around daily: "Get in the car NOW or you are taking the bus!" It even worked on Steve! In fact, I don't see why I shouldn't carry on in mode indefinitely. Why waste thy precious life force . . .
Tomorrow is the Super Bowl party at r o a m . . . don't know how to get through that without talking. I will probably want to get a good supply of paper or maybe just carry around a laptop. Or I could pre-record a number of responses in that Stephen Hawking voice. I still have a sneaking suspicion that all this started as a result of singing Rock Band xbox360 . . . another hidden danger of video games.
In the meantime, I have been prescribed at least three days of total silence. It is not going well. I started by carrying with me a notecard that said "I can't speak for three days, dr.'s orders." That of course invited a stream of follow-on questions, with me trying to rapidly write responses. It probably would be faster to just text. I occasionally will whisper to my spouse or children and it totally cracks me up because they start whispering back. Then I whisper, you don't have to whisper, there is nothing wrong with your vocal cords, is there????? Or I make dramatic facial expressions, feigning disgust, mirth, wonderment, and apathy. As you can see, I haven't come even remotely close to five minutes of silence.
Here is my other favorite written line, which I carry around daily: "Get in the car NOW or you are taking the bus!" It even worked on Steve! In fact, I don't see why I shouldn't carry on in mode indefinitely. Why waste thy precious life force . . .
Tomorrow is the Super Bowl party at r o a m . . . don't know how to get through that without talking. I will probably want to get a good supply of paper or maybe just carry around a laptop. Or I could pre-record a number of responses in that Stephen Hawking voice. I still have a sneaking suspicion that all this started as a result of singing Rock Band xbox360 . . . another hidden danger of video games.
9 comments:
hey, it's a new business opportunity for you! why not make a box of laryngitis cards for people in your situation? they could just pull out a card with an appropriate comment on it. you could have other cards with smiley faces, frowns, or even one with the middle finger!! i think you could start a new trend. soon everyone will want to be silent.
you're a mover and shaker in this community and this could be the start of something big! use your connections to get publicity and marketing.
go SuZen!!
Can you say...Dry Erase Board ;) I remember William Hurt using one in The Doctor... See ya soon... Sue
I would have a great time not having to make small talk. Just smile like Mona Lisa and pretend you're Greta Garbo.
Me not being able to talk about be like having my arms cut off. So I can just imagine you, my witty, smarty pants friend; you must be going batty! It would be great if you got to wear ear plugs on your silent days, so that you wouldn't have to listen to your husband, children or well-meaning bystanders (and, thus, wouldn't be so tempted to speak). On the other hand, you'd be well on the road to manhood then--a non-hearing, non-speaking humanoid. We wouldn't want that! Some of my best friends are guys, but I wouldn't want to be one. Hang in there. Hilda:-)
Suzen - I got the same blasted diagnosis regarding coffee and wine. Learn to love decaf.
Parties at Roam already? You are a mover and shaker.
I love the note card demanding the boys get in the car. Do you hold it over your head when you are shouting?
Hang in there. xo
as I've read thru the comments posted here, I think mary jo has a great idea that you might want to pursue. it seems that it would be a good fit for you. good luck at your Super Bowl party tomorrow - be silent.
I love all your thoughts and ideas . . . I am definitely going to create a set of cards for just the occasion of speaking . . . I'm thinking of the following categories: 1) greetings 2) goodbyes 3) Superbowl specific phrases 4)insults 5)outrageous responses . . . .and that is just the beginning!
I’ve been on the Wikipedia. Laryngitis, dry coughing tending to barking, especially at night. Virus infection on the throat.
Quite annoying.
My best advise, well…
- Humid air (preferable a wellness week by the beach)
- Sleeping and relaxation with your head up (preferable a wellness week by the beach sitting in a beach chair)
- Relaxation and calming of your throat (preferable a wellness week by the beach sitting in a beach chair drinking smooth drinks),
- in acute circumstances a little shot of adrenalin (preferable a wellness week by the beach sitting in a beach chair drinking smooth drinks with a view to a thrill)
I don’t know how acute your laryngitis is, nor if my cure will be the best. But as we say in Denmark if it doesn’t help it sure makes you feel well.
Perhaps you could invite Stephen or let him stay at home. Either way he must wait on you. If he starts barking on my suggestion. You know he has caught the flu too. And off you must go……
Best wishes for a comfortable recovery, Klaus
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