Thursday, February 28, 2008

Transformational T-shirts

Yes, MaryJo, I did blog on this topic!! Had a little rough start to my morning, where I finally lost my temper big time, so into my closet I went and put on my Victoria Secret 'angel' tshirt for my pilates workout. . . . MJ commented on my pretty shirt and I told her it had special powers. It could change me from a screaming meemie into a placid saint. In fact, any tshirt in your closet will work just as well. If you are feeling frumpy, you just put on an old cool concert T and you will do a quick turn around (could also do a fake tattoo, or, a real one for that matter. Who's in?) Feeling out of shape, put your "pilates for hotties" tank on. Feeling unloved? Put on something that your friend or mom got you. (Jewelry works as well, especially like old boyfriend's items, etc. And you know who you are.) And if you are feeling financially stressed, fur works really well, best if it's right next to the skin! Like a Jane Fonda fur bikini. mm, hmmm.

Fashion is a right, not a privilege. And it's way better and faster than prozac.

OK. I'll be quiet now.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Tao of Ordering Checks


Time is of the essence. . . time to reorder checks. I usually go with the standard issue . . . but I am so ready to break out! That is when all the trouble began . . . I can easily reorder online, choosing from an extensive list of symbols and fonts and fun backgrounds, even collegiate checks! (does that mean for every check that I write, a donation for my alma mater?)

I'll be honest, after spending about 10 minutes, I couldn't commit. While I could piece together a unique checkfront, it didn't fit me exactly or Steve exactly and definitely not us exactly. Did you know you can choose from all the monopoly characters to do a 'corner embellishment?" Who knew???

I think it is important how you represent yourself . . . don't want to offend or distress or even confuse someone when it comes to being financially responsible.

Well, I tried customizing - I panned through sports, didn't see anyone doing pilates or yoga, and no one on an elliptical machine (I guess that is what MJ meant about me not being athletic . . . ) Couldn't exactly identify with the watering can; I am totally a fair weather gardener and I blow it off when it doesn't suit me, plus it is sprinkler or nothing during this drought. Steve rides the bike, not me (although it is on my to do list to get my license this year). John plays guitar . . . Gavin loves scottie dogs; well, any dog for that matter; Cameron, cows. Religious symbols, didn't know about the yin/yang . . . maybe the hummingbird? No dragonflies that I could find.

Finally, I had the option of adding a one liner: namaste? hasta la vista baby? (talking to the outgoing funds). Keep on rockin' in the free world? Right now! (Van Halen)

Uh-oh - took a detour and went to another check website. Now I can choose from Barbie, Elvira, Kiss, and a whole host of country music artists. I can get a copy of the last supper! Shopping girlies, oh, I found dragonflies and fairies. This is insane.

Ah, let the kiddies and the hubbie get their own checks when they grow up (and/or if they are smart enough to know the password for my online acct!). Looks like I'm going with the martini glass on the animal print background with "shop till you drop" as my one liner.

TTFN!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Beating my head against the wall


I wish I could say that I bumped my head on the glass ceiling . . . but last Friday I actually walked into a really clean glass wall while I was working, not paying attention to what I was doing. I can't tell you how stupid I felt. I can tell you how much my head hurts, mini-possible -concussion all weekend. If Deepak Chopra weren't so enlightening, I would not have made it through his three hour presentation on Saturday. I felt completely at ease, like I had heard him speak before, even though I never have. Hubbie got a lot from it, excited and ready to put all his good intentions into his work . . . I, conversely, am thinking about my shadows. It dawned on me that perhaps I am literally banging my head against the wall, wasting my time. Eye opener! I was forced to self-medicate with wine on Saturday evening.

Maybe I take everything too literally, but I had to replace three light bulbs in my kitchen that blew all at the same time! Let there be light! Come out of the darkness!

Still managed to complete my "Sex and the City workout" on Sunday. More on that another time .





Thursday, February 21, 2008

My friend H rocks!

Sometimes my friends won't post, so I have to post for them. It is a carry-over from motherhood, I guess. We were doing one of those "tell me something I don't know" fill in the blank questionnaires (favorite food, color, movie, song, etc.) and question #21 (out of 59!!) was favorite saying. If H wants to identify herself, she needs to come forward!!!! btw, we all need an H in our lives. Honest, confidant, evolved, friend that lasts forever. In fact, she doesn't have wrinkles and she looks better than she has ever looked. Plus, she kicks a** and is a fun gal to gallivant with!!! (is that where the word gallivant came from???)

First, H said" the best is yet to come," but then she sent me a separate email which is totally worth noting, which I shall cut and paste here:

In H's own words:

You don't look 47!! aka you look like you're in your thirties! aka you don't look old enough to have children. (seriously! I have gotten each of those in the last year. I must admit that the compliments mainly came from people who wanted generous tips.)

Would you like another glass of wine/vodka/scotch, etc?

Would you like that with ice cream/chocolate on top?

Have you lost weight ? (Haven't heard this in the last year)

Honey, you need a pick-me-up shopping spree! (OK, I totally made that one up).

No, you don't look fat in that outfit.

There's not a wrinkle on your face. (My friends are the biggest liars, aren't they?)

Do you want to go out for dinner tonight? (said on a night when I'm too tired/lazy to cook)

Can I clean up for you? (Said when the house is a complete mess -- that's a fantasy comment, too)

You've never looked better. (said by a woman, again, my friends are shameless liars).

You go, girl!

Solidarity, sister!

Peace, love and soul (what host Don Cornelious said at the end of every episode of "Soul Train" - I watched that and American Bandstand every Sat. when I was growing up - I love to dance, what can I say??)

I love you :-)

I'm coming for a visit (not spoken by my in-laws)

Yes, I can babysit on Saturday night

This is good, Mom (mumbled by a Schultz boy, with a mouth full of my cooking, followed by content devouring of the dinner that I took the time to make)

You were so right, Mom (spoken by my college freshman -- fantasy, pure and simple)

Thanks, Mom (also spoken by my college freshman -- another fantasy)

We WON LOTTO!! (yeah right!)

Later, gator - H

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

The facts about F.A.C.S.


Family and Consumer Science is a required class at my kids' middle school. Last night my youngest dutifully prepared his choice from the menu, "haystacks", which is a confection composed of peanut butter, butterscotch chips, peanuts, and crunchy chow mein noodles. It is also the height of the flu season. Within half an hour of eating his creation, my son rushed to the commode. Since his older brother was already down for the count, I just assumed we would have a sick day today. However, upon awakening, my youngest said he felt perfectly fine, so we completed his task by packing up the haystacks to take to class and filled out his form, signed by parent, to complete the assignment. With my "get in the car now or take the bus" sign (see previous post - stunned silence"), we started to head out with his little candy trophies to share and brother, who needed to go in early. But, we had got no further than the top of the driveway when youngest bolted out the door. I figured he was staying home so proceeded through the n'hood while he purged in the shrubbery. "Wait," he pathetically wailed as the neighbor walking his dog shook his head laughing. This kid is a trooper. He doesn't even like going to school. But he really wanted to share those haystacks with the class.

I am torn. Do you think he should still turn in the haystacks to get his grade? Does this mean a failing grade if you throw up your own creation? We may never know . . .

Sunday, February 3, 2008

yoga latte, baby!


Who do you call in East Cobb for yoga, from kids to corporate wellness programs? Our own local favorite, Susan Palace. Don't let her diminuitive size fool you. Can I say kick *** on a blog? She currently teaches yoga M/W/Sunday at Sportsarama in East Cobb, as well as the East Cobb/McClesky YMCA. She emails weekly inspirations to her students to keep us centered. I know for a fact that she does yoga private instruction, small groups, and parties. Her KidVisions relaxation CD is absolutely delightful, for kids of all ages. 2008 is the year for her programs to take off! Stay tuned. We are patiently waiting for more to come.
And don't get me started on the yogasm. Need I say more? For more information, you can contact Susan at:
The Yoga Palace and KidVisions
www.cdbaby.com/sfpalace
spalace@bellsouth.net
770-977-0062
404-394-3985 (mobile)

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Stunned Silence


I have had laryngitis for the last three weeks, and finally went to the ear/nose/throat specialist, who looked down my throat with a scope (can you say "eeeeehhh, aaaaaahh, oooooo?"). Nothin' but inflamed and swollen vocal cords, most likely caused by acid reflux and poor dietary/drinking habits. (?) It just sucks getting old. Now I have to avoid all my favorites, and how easy is it to do that with a superautomaticespressomaker staring you in the face every morning and a nice collection of flavorful Italian whites around happy hour? (well, at least it's not the other way around!) And don't get me started on the chocolate ban. The rest I can handle. Oops, forgot about that spicy Thai food I had on Tuesday.

In the meantime, I have been prescribed at least three days of total silence. It is not going well. I started by carrying with me a notecard that said "I can't speak for three days, dr.'s orders." That of course invited a stream of follow-on questions, with me trying to rapidly write responses. It probably would be faster to just text. I occasionally will whisper to my spouse or children and it totally cracks me up because they start whispering back. Then I whisper, you don't have to whisper, there is nothing wrong with your vocal cords, is there????? Or I make dramatic facial expressions, feigning disgust, mirth, wonderment, and apathy. As you can see, I haven't come even remotely close to five minutes of silence.

Here is my other favorite written line, which I carry around daily: "Get in the car NOW or you are taking the bus!" It even worked on Steve! In fact, I don't see why I shouldn't carry on in mode indefinitely. Why waste thy precious life force . . .

Tomorrow is the Super Bowl party at r o a m . . . don't know how to get through that without talking. I will probably want to get a good supply of paper or maybe just carry around a laptop. Or I could pre-record a number of responses in that Stephen Hawking voice. I still have a sneaking suspicion that all this started as a result of singing Rock Band xbox360 . . . another hidden danger of video games.